Worst day of my life....so far

Saturday, August 4th, 2012 was a horrible day.  

I hadn't been feeling very well, just felt very weak for the past few days.  Saturday, Scott and I took our  kids, Scotts Brother, Scotts Brothers Girlfriend and dropped them off at our neighborhood pool.  Scott and I went to Walmart to get deli sandwiches, then we went back up to our house to get the cooler for drinks and everything else.  

Well, I went and sat down in the car to wait for Scott, he went in the house to get snacks, drinks and other treats to take with us to the pool.  When he came out, I could not move.  It was like I was completely out of it, I always laugh when people say that they were out of their bodied, but I was!  When Scott got in the car, he asked me if I wanted a Mamba, It was then that I snapped back.  I felt like my throat was closed, I needed to do something.  I had a 7up in my hand and I just started pouring it in my mouth.  I couldn't get it down my mouth fast enough.  I was pouring it everywhere.  

Scott started to freak out, He could tell that I wasn't all there.  He started trying to talk to me and it was helping me.  The more that he talked to me, the more it helped me regain consciousness.  He asked me if I needed him to call 911, I could not talk so I shook my head *yes* 

It was then that I felt my head start to nod back in forth, I had never had a seizure but I instantly knew that I was about to have one.  It was an odd feeling.  I remember feeling my inside my head (my brain) start to get shaken, I remember feeling like this was it, I was dying.  I honestly 100% thought that I was dying.  All that flashed through my head was Scott and my 4 kids.  I didn't want to leave them.  I just kept trying to stay with it, I kept thinking of my family.

Scott called 911 while he was driving.  We live on the very top of a high mountain, he would have had to drive clear down the mountain to get help but we have a fire station about 1/2 a mile from our house.  Scott was smart and pulled into there and finally got the fireman and the paramedics to come out, They cleared my airway.

Finally I looked at Scott after about 10 minutes and told him that I loved him.  It was all that I could say.  After that, I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't talk, I couldn't move.  I just remember thinking *okay Im not going to die, but I am going to be a vegetable* I just kept trying to use my brain.  I started counting to 100, then I would count by 2's, then 5's then 10's.  I just felt like I had to keep going.  

They took me in an ambulance to the hospital, I was finally able to open my eyes on the way there.  The paramedic that was the first one out to me was sitting next to me answering questions to the other men in the ambulance.  He told them that I was seizing for an additional 2 minutes after he got to me.  He didn't notice that my eyes were now open, he told the other men that if it would have gone on for another 30 seconds - 1 minute that I would have been gone.  He did not say the word I would have been gone, but instead swiped his hand across his neck.  He knew that I could hear, but didn't know that I saw that.

Once the Paramedic saw that my eyes were open, he asked me if I could hear him the whole time that he was with me.  I said yes.  He said that when he checked my pulse that it was really low.  He said that when he pulled my eyelid open, it scared him because I looked right at him.  He then said, "I thought, Oh wow someone really is still here".

At the hospital they ran blood work, did urine stuff, and did a cat scan.  They said that my sugar was high but everything else was normal.  They sent me on my way and told me to follow up with a neurologist.  

I have had a horrible headache since, I have felt really weak and so tired.  I am also having a hard time remembering things and words.  It has been so frustrating and I have been an emotional mess, but I will work through it.

I saw a Neurologist yesterday, he isn't sure that I had a seizure but he isn't ruling it out either.  He said it is very hard to be 100% sure that someone had a seizure.  He thinks that I might have lost all blood flow to my head and that cause my body to convulse.  I have to get a MRI later this week.

I just want to feel like myself again.

Have any of you ever had an MRI?  Im terrified of this!